Here is a post from Relax kids Tamworth which I thought was a brilliant way of demonstrating how words affect how we feel.
Words affect how we feel – the activity
Today in one of our classes I introduced the children to two apples. (The children didn’t know this, but before the class I had repeatedly dropped one of the apples on the floor, you couldn’t tell, both apples looked perfect).
The bad apple
We talked about the apples and the children described how both apples looked the same; both were red, were of similar size and looked juicy enough to eat. I picked up the apple I’d dropped on the floor and started to tell the children how I disliked this apple, that I thought it was disgusting, it was a horrible colour and the stem was just too short. I told them that because I didn’t like it, I didn’t want them to like it either, so they should call it names too. Some children looked at me like I was insane!
We passed the apple around the circle calling it names, ‘you’re a smelly apple’, ‘I don’t even know why you exist’, ‘you’ve probably got worms inside you’ etc. We really pulled this poor apple apart. I actually started to feel sorry for the little guy.
The good apple
We then passed another apple around and started to say kind words to it, ‘You’re a lovely apple’, ‘Your skin is beautiful’, ‘What a beautiful colour you are’ etc. I then held up both apples. Again, we talked about the similarities and differences, there was no change, both apples still looked the same.
The light-bulb moment
I then cut the apples open. The apple we’d been kind to was clear, fresh and juicy inside. The apple we’d said unkind words to was bruised and all mushy inside. I think there was a light-bulb moment for the children immediately. They really got it. What we saw inside that apple, the bruises, the mush and the broken bits is what is happening inside every one of us when someone mistreats us with their words or actions. People feel horrible inside when they are bullied – especially children. Sometimes they don’t show or tell others how they are feeling. If we hadn’t have cut that apple open, we would never have known how much pain we had caused it.
I shared my own experience of suffering someone’s unkind words last week. On the outside I looked OK, I was still smiling. But, on the inside someone had caused me a lot of pain with their words and I was hurting.
Unlike an apple, we have the ability to stop this from happening. We can teach children that it’s not ok to say unkind things to each other and discuss how it makes others feel. We can teach our children to stand up for each other and to stop any form of bullying, just as one little girl did today when she refused to say unkind words to the apple. More and more hurt and damage happens inside if nobody does anything to stop the bullying. Let’s create a generation of kind, caring children. The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.
A few points to consider…
The apple was a red apple and to ensure it remained looking like there was no damage inside it was tapped repeatedly (but gently) on the floor over and over again. To touch you could feel the bruising, but you could not see it. No one noticed this within the class. After the apple was cut open and the impact was made, we discussed how I’d purposely bruised the apple before the session to make the point that we don’t often see the pain our words cause people. It had a very powerful impact.
Children got it and children understood. During this Relax Kids class (and every class) we offer children tools and techniques to manage their feelings and emotions, and through our unique seven steps we offer children strategies and solutions to manage any stress or anxiety. All of our activities promote teamwork, respect, peer support, conflict resolution, self-esteem and confidence, and children know where to go for support, if needed. Within this lesson I really wanted to focus on the power of JUST our words and the damage they may cause us inside, the pain no one can see.
This is pretty powerful stuff right? If you want to see more from Relax kids then click here.